B.B.: How so?

Lucy: Look at you guarding that ball. You’re so territorial. And you aren’t even a guy.

B.B.: It’s a Clumber thing.

L: And what’s with the one eye – literally – on the water bowl?

B.B.: There’s a drought. I’m protecting our resources. You should thank me.

B: See there? Normal dog sleep. Just like you.

L: You bogarted my blanket.

B: Bitch.

L: You’re the bitch.

B: So, I’m gonna catch a power nap. You got the wall?

L: Roger that. You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.

B: Nicholson again? Really?

B:  I can’t seem to hold my head up this morning.

L:  Long night?

B:  I dreamt Clint Eastwood kept telling me to go eff myself when all I wanted was a new rawhide bone.

L:  I hate that dream.

B:  Don’t kid yourself. I’m just too big to lie in his lap like some kind of tummy rub ho.

L:  I am NOT a tummy rub ho!

B:  Oh, you’re a ho, alright.

B: Great Scotties! What have you been eating?

L: Same stuff as you. Why?

B: Your flatulence flabbergasts.

L: Nobody asked you to lie at my feet.

B: Your feet aren’t the problem.

L: Don’t be such a bitch.

B: But, I am a bitch. Just like you, Ms. Windy City.

L:  Psst. Meet me at the computer in five minutes.

B: What’s up?

L: Prince Harry’s naked on TMZ.

B: Bow chicka wow wow!!

L: I know. Right?

B: What’s the matter?

L: I dunno. Feeling a little down. Exhausted. Emotional.

B: Maybe you’re getting your period.

L: We’ve been spayed, you idiot.

B: WHAT?!!!

B: What are you doing?

L: I just heard Augusta National admitted two female members.

B: So, what are you looking at?

L: Waiting for a pig to fly by.

B.B. and her namesake

B: So, that’s who they named me after?

L: The resemblance is striking.

B: But, she’s a Republican!

L: Better than being named after a cartoon.

B: Ya think?

L: No. Not really.

L: See?!?

B: I’ve got a little sleep apnea. So what?

L: So, no wonder you never get any second dates.

B: Don’t be a bitch. I don’t sleep around. You know they don’t let us go out at night.